How to Learn to Be Alone
Many patients come to therapy with this concern: "I don’t know how to be alone". Similarly, many users register for our app because being alone makes them anxious.
Today, I’ll explain from a psychological perspective why you might feel unable to tolerate solitude and share practical tips to help you learn how to be alone.
Why Don’t You Know How to Be Alone?
A survey conducted by Meta Gallup in 2023 reported that at least 27% of young people aged 19 to 29 feel lonely. However, loneliness itself isn’t inherently distressing rather, it’s how you perceive and experience it that causes anxiety or even leads to depression.
Your life experiences shape how you view solitude. For instance:
- You may see being alone as a sign of inadequacy, lack of worth, or being unloved.
- It could stem from a wound of abandonment, whether real or imagined.
- Alternatively, discomfort with solitude might be linked to narcissistic traits, needing someone else’s presence to validate or admire you.
To explore why you struggle with being alone, try reflecting on these questions:
- Do you remember the first time you truly felt alone? What was happening in your life at that time?
- Is there a significant event from your past that shaped your perception of being alone?
- What do you gain from being around others?
Would you be interested in a test to determine if you struggle with loneliness? Clic here.
Is It Bad Not to Know How to Be Alone?
It’s problematic. Here are some issues linked to not knowing how to be alone:
- Sadness and frustration from feeling unloved, unvalued, or unimportant.
- Anxiety from desperately wanting to be around people or specific individuals.
- Guilt and self-punishing thoughts when you fail to achieve your goal of being in a group or with others.
- Emotional emptiness, where even when surrounded by people, you still feel alone.
- Self-sabotage in your relationships.
The core issue is that if you don’t know how to be alone, you also don’t know how to be in healthy company, which can harm your interpersonal relationships.
How to Be Alone: Practical Tips
Before diving into the tips, take note of this article’s title: How to Learn to Be Alone. This isn’t a magical solution, it’s a learning process that takes time. Start today and be patient with yourself!
- Take the time to understand why being alone is difficult for you. Register in our app and follow our guided path to start exploring the reasons behind your discomfort.
- Find activities you enjoy and can do on your own. Choose simple tasks that don’t require assistance, so you can enjoy them independently.
- Set aside time each day to be alone. Start with 10 to 15 minutes, and gradually increase the time each week.
- Limit your mobile phone use to specific times of the day. This can help you reduce the need for constant direct contact.
- Encourage self-dialogue. Talk to yourself about what you like or what’s worrying you. Remember, your goal is to become your best companion.
Final Thoughts
That’s it for now! Remember, wellness is a journey, and you’re always making progress. Practice these tips and share your results with me. I’d love to hear about your experience.
At memeonlyme, we’re here to help you learn to be alone and feel good about yourself. 💙
