What to do if I self-injure: 7 practical strategies

7 Things You Can Do If You Self-Harm

Self-injuries are very large or small actions, which are intended to hurt yourself. They usually manifest as small but numerous cuts on arms or legs (and even other parts of the body), but can also manifest as hitting, hair pulling, pinching, and any voluntary (sometimes unconscious) action that involves hurting yourself.

This behavior is very common in adolescents, but many adults practice it in multiple forms, and it can become so normalized that those who engage in it do not ask for help when they need it. 

Remember, self-harm manifests in various forms, ranging from cutting the skin to hitting, hair pulling, pinching, and more. With that in mind, here are seven steps you can take during moments of self-harm:

1. Keep Yourself Safe

It might seem obvious, but for many, this can be a challenging step, as self-harm often happens impulsively. To manage this impulsivity, move away from any objects you might use to harm yourself. If you feel the urge to hit yourself or objects, try replacing these actions with safer alternatives like shouting, jumping, or running.

2. Breathe

Understanding that self-harm is driven by impulsivity, taking a pause during the crisis can help you regain control. Breathing exercises work well because conscious and mindful breathing redirects your focus. Alternatively, you can try drinking water or washing your face, both actions disrupt the chaos of self-harming impulses.

3. Let Your Emotions Out

Acknowledge that these actions against yourself are loaded with emotions, whether recognized or not. Taking a few minutes to vent, by talking, writing, or crying, can help release the tension behind the crisis.

4. Don’t Resist Crying

If you feel the urge to cry, let it happen. Don’t resist the tears; instead, allow them to flow. Crying can contribute significantly to emotional release.

5. Write

Once the crisis subsides, write down the most recurring emotions and thoughts you experienced. This will help you identify and confront the underlying causes of your self-harm. If it’s fear, resentment, anger, or frustration, name the emotion and acknowledge it.

6. Protect Yourself

The urge to self-harm may not disappear entirely, so take steps to care for yourself. Identify the triggers of your crises and avoid objects, situations, or even people that may contribute to them.

7. Seek Help

You don’t have to bear this burden alone. Don’t feel ashamed or guilty, it's okay to feel bad, but it’s not okay to harm yourself because of it. Reach out to someone you trust for support.

At memeonlyme, we’re here to support you. 💙 If you’re struggling with self-harm, we can guide you and help you find the assistance you need.

You’re not alone. 🌹

Common Questions About Self-Harm (And the Psychology Behind Them)

1. Why do people self-harm even when they don’t want to?

Self-harm is often a coping mechanism that becomes habitual. It can feel like the only way to relieve intense emotional pain, even when the person doesn’t truly want to hurt themselves. Psychologically, it functions as a short-term release — a way to convert emotional suffering into physical pain, which feels more manageable. Over time, this behavior can form neural pathways that make the impulse automatic. That’s why awareness and therapy are essential to break the cycle.

2. Is self-harm always linked to suicidal thoughts?

Not necessarily. While both may stem from deep emotional distress, they are not the same. Many people who self-harm do not want to die — they’re trying to cope or express pain that feels too overwhelming to verbalize. However, repeated self-harm can increase the risk of suicidal ideation over time, so it's crucial to address the behavior seriously and compassionately.

3. Can self-harm become addictive?

Yes. Self-harm can activate the brain’s reward system by triggering the release of endorphins — the body’s natural painkillers. This creates a temporary sense of relief or calm, reinforcing the behavior. Psychologically, this creates a loop: emotional pain → self-harm → momentary relief → guilt or shame → more pain. The cycle can be broken through healthier coping strategies and psychological support.

4. How do I help a loved one who self-harms?

Start by listening, not judging. Don’t try to “fix” them — instead, offer emotional safety. Validate their feelings and let them know you’re there for them, no matter what. Encourage them to speak to a mental health professional, but avoid ultimatums. Empathy, patience, and presence can create a safe space where they feel seen, not shamed.